A moving account of how to counteract negative and destructive behavior with goodness
It has been narrated that the Umayyad king Abdul-Malik ibn Marwan (d. 705CE/86H) was with his children and other members of his household when he asked everyone to recite the best lines of poetry from the past. People proceeded to recite from Zuhayr ibn Abi Sulma (d. 609CE), Nabigha Dhubyani (d. 605CE/18BH), Imr al-Qays (d. 540CE), Tarafa ibn `Abd (d. 569CE) and Labid ibn Rabi`a (d. 661CE/41H). When they had finished, `Abd al-Malik’s rejoinder was the best poet was the one who composed the poem Perchance a kinsman whose malice…. (and then he proceeded to recite a poem of 24 lines in the tawil meter); the poem is by Ma`n ibn Aws. [Ibn `Asakir, Tarikh Dimashq, 59/430] This poem appears in the published version of the Diwan in a longer version (34 lines), and in a shorter version (15 lines) in Amali al-Qali with some additional lines attributed to the philologist Ibn al-A`rabi (d. 845CE / 231H). I found a 23-line version online.
This poem is a moving account of negative and destructive behavior that the poet experienced from one of his relatives. He describes that although he was exasperated, he did not respond in like coin, but rather he took the higher road – treating him with love and kindness – until the relationship was mended. Ibn Abd Rabbih (d. 327H) cited the first three lines of the poem in al-`Iqd al-Farid (2/135) in the chapter on Forbearance, and repelling [someone’s] evil deed with [your] good deed. The connection with the Quranic verse that Ibn Abd Rabbih has alluded to it evident:
“And not equal are the good deed and the bad. Repel [evil] by that [deed] which is better; and thereupon the one whom between you and him is enmity [will become] as though he was a devoted friend.”
Quran, 41:34
The poem also contains a reference to the following saying of the Prophet Muhammad:
God said: I am al-Rahman (the Source of Mercy, Compassion, etc) and this is al-rahim (ties of kinship). I have derived for it a name from My Name. Whoever brings together [these bonds] I will maintain him [with mercy and blessing], and whoever cuts off [these bonds], I will cut him off.
(Narrated by Abu Dawud and Ahmad)
I present here an abridged form of the poem, in the form of a sonnet. Below that I list the relevant Arabic lines.
Forbearance lonesome still pours forth as rain,
Perchance to trim spite’s claws from one who’s kin.
He seeks but to compel me with disdain,
Though I view shaming him as mortal sin.
If I forgive, this mote I can endure,
‘Though he knows not that I have pardoned him.
If I requite, I’d be an archer sure,
But one who cracks the bone of his own limb.
Had it not been for fear of God in me,
Realizing God has hallowed kindred ties,
I would have marked his nose, for all to see,
A stamp of infamy, to advertise.
From self-restraint and love I mixed a balm,
Which caused his hate to wither, yielding calm.
وذي رَحِمٍ قَـــلَّـــمتُ أظــــفـــارَ ضِــــــغْنِه ** بحـــلـــمــي عـــنه وهـــو لـــيس له حِــــلم
يُحـــاولُ رَغــمـــي لا يحـــاولُ غــــــيـــره ** وكـــالمـــوت عـــندي أن يَحُلَّ به الرَّغْم
فإن أعْـــفُ عـنه أُغــــضِ عَيْناً على قَذى ** وليس له بالصــفـــح عــن ذنــبـــــه عِلم
وإن أنـــتـــصـــر مـــنه أكُنْ مثل رائشٍ ** ســهـــامَ عَــــدُوٍ يُــستهاض بها العَظم
فلولا اتــــقــــاءُ الله والـــــرحـــــــمِ التي ** رِعــــايـــتُــها حـــقٌ وتَعـــطـــيلُـها ظُلمُ
إذاً لعـــلاهُ بـــــارقــي وخَــطَـــمْـــتُــــــــهُ ** بـــوســـم شَــــــنَــــارٍ لا يشاكهُه وَسمُ
فــمــــا زلــــت فـــي لـــيني له وتعطفي ** عــــلــيه كــــما تـــحــــنو على الولد الأمُ
فـــــداويتـــــه حـــــتى ارْفَـــــأَنَّ نِـفاره ** فَــــعُــــدنا كأنا لم يــكن بيننا صَرْم
PICTURE CREDIT: Image by John Hain from Pixabay
Suheil Laher : Language and Literature Blog 
